rules of harry potter
by hi- i'm ethan
Summary: when writing harry potter fanfiction there are some rules you might wanna be aware of. this is just a quick list of them (WITH ADDED DRABBLES!), which i'll add to later. i'll also do other fandoms if requested. i don't own the harry potter franchise.


When looking at harry potter fanfiction, i've noticed some patterns; so i decided to compile a quick list, that i will add to, of factors you might wanna look at when your writing a harry potter fanfiction, i'll also add a little drabble with each one. If you want me to- i'll do more for different fandoms. just message me on what you want.

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 **THE RULES WHEN WRITING A** **HARRY POTTER FANFICTION**

RULE NUMBER 1: _The greener the eyes, the better._

Draco gasped, harry's eyes were like kaleidoscopes of green; deep calming pools of forest and emerald green...

RULE NUMBER 2: _If you wanna make harry even cuter- slap some kitten ears and a tail on him. (whiskers optional)_

harry looked questioningly at a pale faced sirius, head tilting curiously. sitting on top of his head, were a pair of oversized fuzzy black cat ears with pink velvet insides, that drooped slightly over his face. a long black tail swayed lazily behind him and fine white whiskers framed that adorable button nose.

"s-sirius?" harry asked wearily as sirius' face crept into a large smile and wrapped harry into the tightest hug known to man.

"SOO CUTE!" he squealed and span around in circles.

RULE NUMBER 3: _On the actions of dumbledore- either he's a misguided old man who believes in the goodness of people too much- or he's the embodiment of pure evil._

"i thought that harry was her son; petunia would let go of her resentment and look after her nephew like she would her own son." blue eyes, were dim with regret and remorse.

 _or..._

"blast that stupid boy!" dumbledore roared in his office, "he was supposed to be mailable and submissive- not the stubborn brat he is now!"

RULE NUMBER 4: _Ron is a; a greedy, ignorant, sexist, secret blood elitist, stupid prick._

"i don't understand harry- hermione's just a woman- a muggle born woman at that; a pureblood is only good for children and keeping the home clean. a muggle born isn't really good for anything- just a bit on the side when the other one won't put out." ron spoke with his mouth full, spitting food everywhere; he didn't see ginny stopping harry from hexing ron into next week, or the twins try and comfort a watery eyed hermione.

RULE NUMBER 5: _This links with rule number 4- he's just a huge dick._

"merlin harry! stop being such a selfish prick! it's halloween; you should be happy and having fun- not moping around like your dog's dead. now get dressed, the feasts about to begin." ron looked at his 'friend' before storming out. harry sniffed deeply and quietly shrugged off neville's attempts at comfort; weakly smiling at the rest of the boys and gently kissing the photo of his parents, smiling happily on their wedding day.

RULE NUMBER 6: _If you crossover- all hot men, taken or not; must be crawling over each other to get in harry's pants._

the guys in the bar looked at the green eyed beauty as he walked inside shyly, heading to to bar and ordering a ginger beer. "sorry guys- but he's mine."tony sighed regretfully and steve snorted.

"i think you'll find he'll be coming home with me." the captain smiled and shot up to walk over to the young man. before he exited the table's perimeter, he was pushed to the floor by clint who jumped over to the man. but before he even got a word in...

RULE NUMBER 7: _Regarding hermione- she's harry's right hand or she's been brainwashed and harry's gotta fight for his best friend back._

"harry! i am your friend and like hell i'm gonna leave you like everyone else!" hermione gripped harry's face and looked at him with determination.

 _or..._

hermione woke up with a low groan, her head felt like a lead weight and her mouth was a giant cotton ball. slowly getting up, she saw that she was in the infirmary and an exhausted looking harry was sitting next to her. "h-harry? what happened?"

RULE NUMBER 8: _So if you're gonna bash a character- you've gotta go all in or don't even bother; no weak ass bashing, no sir!_

i have no idea what to do here but i think you can guess where i'm going with this.

RULE 9: _If harry's gonna go dark, he's either a chibi version of satan, or dark with morals._

the death eaters couldn't tare their eyes away at the gruesomely horrific scene before them; harry was slowly dancing with the bloody corpse of bellatrix lestrange. after he had allied himself with voldemort, the young teen had immediately set himself on the woman and physically attacked her, ripping her apart with a sweet smile as her tortured screams filled the hall.

 _or..._

"you killed the only link i had to my family bellatrix- i should kill where you stand" harry held the wand steadily in the witch's face, green eyes cold and dead as he glared at the monster who did this. "but i'm not- i'll just let you live and give you only this warning." he drew back his fist and swung. bellatrix flinched but looked confused when she didn't feel any impact. "unlike others- i don't hit women. now get the hell out of my sight."

RULE 10: _Harry's eyes have the power of tuning the most hard arsed mother f*ckers into a puddle of goo and mushy-mushy feelings._

moody looked down at the infant potter, the kid had tugged on his jacket and asked rather cutely to be lifted up. at first the ex-auror was highly reluctant to lift the potter toddler in his arms, but looking in those perfect green puppy eyes cut through him like a hot knife through butter. "fine!" he groaned, exasperated, "but don't push ya luck." harry didn't care, he was going up so high!

a few minutes later, saw lily smiling in the door way as a dosing alastor moody sat in a high back chair, as he protectively held a completely conked out harry to his chest. "put that camera away lily." came the gravelly voice and lily sulked as she lowered the camera, pouting at the sleepy eyed glare moody sent her way.

RULE 11: _In my opinion- if you're gonna make harry a girl; she's gotta look like lily and have james' eyes OR she's james' long lost twin sister (with lily's eyes)_

severus snape was adamant that he would hate the potter spawn until his dying day. just thinking of having to teach james' brat for seven yeas was enough to give him a head ache. so when the daughter of his tormentor walked up to be sorted; all feelings except complete and utter protectiveness and ever so slight possessiveness remained.

lily was sitting on the stool for the second time, he was sure of it. the same red hair, freckles and warm smile that he fell in love with all those years ago were yet again walking to the gryffindor table. severus couldn't bring himself to hate harriet potter- it just wasn't possible- not now, not like this. the only thing he could find wrong with child was that she didn't have those beautiful deep grass green eyes lily had, instead; she had her father's light caramel brown ones.

 _OR..._

minerva mcgonagall bit back a sigh, harriet potter was sitting in her office once again. "it's not my fault that the old toad and that buffoon can't admit the truth! he's back, and if i have to sing it from the freaking roof tops than so bleeding be it!" the teen raged and for a moment, minerva swore she was looking at a young james potter.

he had said something similar when he was in her office all those years ago and minerva was hard pressed not to call the girl by her father's name. though could you blame her? the child looked like his long lost twin sister- even dumbledore thought so!

she was tall and lanky with long limbs that were graceful in the air but looked like a pelican trying to take off for the first time on land*, her hair was an untameable mess of wild curly black locks; that had gone down in history as the most stubbornest hair that had ever grown- even the most die hard of girls had all but given up on it.

the same slightly pointed features with high cheek bones and strong jaw lines, but hers slightly softened, and that same mischievous ghost of a grin that was always planted on those slightly chafed lips. hell! she even had the same bashful blush james had whenever they got embarrassed!

the only thing that separated the pair, were lily's bottle green eyes and the angry fire and haunted pain that filled them and made it so hard for the teachers to look her straight in the eye.

"just try and control your temper harriet; i know it's hard but you can't keep serving detention to the miserable woman, you'll make your father look bad-" she gave her student a wry smile, "he'd be foaming at the mouth if his daughter beat his record."

RULE 12: _Either harry's so powerful that he could wipe out entire countries without breaking a sweat, or he's barely getting through his classes and only really excels in subject that don't require a lot of magic._

harry groaned in annoyance; that was the third magic depressor he blew up- if he kept this up- he'd be broke before his thirtieth birthday. sighing in defeat he went back to gringotts and shyly placed the now melted lump of metal on to the counter.

"i see you need another suppressor mister potter?" the goblin looked at harry with a raised eyebrow and the saviour flushed like a tomato.

"yeah... it kinda, melted on me?" he offered lamely and the bank teller just rolled his eyes and summoned the master crafters.

"please do a full body and core exam on mr potter; this will be his last suppression request." he snarled at the other goblin and harry looked and felt like a kicked puppy.

"i'm sorry for all the trouble; take what ever you want from my vaults- it should be enough for the expenses and time wasted." harry said and passed over his key. surprisingly both goblins laughed.

"you're being stupid mister potter- this is the most challenging piece of work we've had in decades; we should be paying you for your ability to test even to most strongest of suppressors. in fact; this lump of scrap metal would've been able to turn; morgana, merlin, grinwald, dumbledore and the dark lord combined into nothing more than mere squibs." the goblin said gleefully and harry ended up blowing up the chandeliers in shock.

 _OR..._

there was no way around it, harry was _terrible_ at magic. sure he could cast the spells correctly, using the right word pronunciation and hand movements, but it took him the entire lesson to do it once and it was nigh impossible for the boy to do it as an example in class.

so when it came to picking his owl subjects, the teachers all had a sit down to see how to broach the subject with him. "surprisingly, the boy is adept at potions and has maintained a steady o grade in my lesson. it also seems that potter has shown great advancement in herbiology and care of magical creatures." severus explained quite simply, but minerva knew the potions master was just boasting about his favourite student- despite him being in gryffindor and james potter's son.

"severus is right, harry is the best in my class, with neville right behind him; he truly has a green thumb." the hufflepuff head smiled broadly and mcgonagall sighed.

"harry isn't a squib- he just can't access his magic in conventional ways; it's obvious that he is more suited to subjects that do not require as much spell incantations as our lessons. would runes still be available to him?"

RULE 13: _Dursley family are either cannon abusive, with a bit more coldness; or they are lucky that they haven't been killed on sight for what they've done._

"it's not like they were monsters or anything! i had a roof over my head, food in my stomach and clothes on my back. i am grateful for what for what they did." poppy was spitting fire. harry was abused so much, that he didn't even realise it. he thought it was normal to be locked in a cupboard and systematically starved and worked like a house elf.

 _OR..._

the police were baying for blood. sitting in hospital was a 10 year old boy who didn't like any contact from men and cried quietly every night. the doctors didn't think he'd ever make a full recovery and the hospital nurses had all but begged the trustees to let the boy have his own private room do he could at least get a decent nights sleep. oh everyone was prowling around to get their hands on the dursley family.

RULE 14: _Slytherin_ _ha_ _rry either becomes the pariah of the entire school or the king snake with draco as his right hand and/or lover._

"looks like your houses are united headmaster." a stiff voiced harry announced as he glared at the teachers table, "they really have all become the best of friends, you all should be _so proud_." he hissed and mcgonagall gasped at the sight of the mutilated corpse of hegwig in his arms.

her wings were bent out of shape and her snowy white feathers were dripping in crimson. harry had closed her large amber eyes, unable to look at her terror filled eyes. he didn't say anything else as he left the hall, removing his green tie from his neck and throwing it to the ground.

a few days later hagrid found a dead harry in the forest, exactly were he found the dead unicorn.

 _OR..._

harry sat by the fire, a glass of fire whiskey in one hand and stroking draco's hair with the other. "if daphne comes anywhere near you again, i'll kill her." draco tightened his grip around harry's waist, making the green eyed teen chuckle.

"was my dragon jealous of the pesky peacock?" he asked as he gently put down his glass and pulled draco into his lap; "but what my dragon should remember is that i don't want any peacock or girl- i want my pretty little dragon at my side as we show how a snake should act, _isn't that right draco?"_ he hissed in parsel tongue and draco shivered with arousal.

the other slytherins politely ignored their king and queen as they made out on the couch- they were extremely territorial of each other and madly in love. to get in their way was to insult the entire slytherin house.

RULE 15: _Harry can make the straightest of men question their sexuality... EVER-Y-THING!_

the pack were staring at paul with curious glances. the only shifter who hadn't imprinted, and wasn't planning on doing so, was thinking an awful lot about the new citizen of fawkes. he opened a rather popular bakery and pretty much employed the pack to do customer service and deliveries.

paul hadn't met harry until the small male pretty much fell into the pack beta's arms, and from then on the green eyed young man had been on paul's mind constantly. and it was getting on everyone's nerves.

"just ask him out already!" jake finally snapped and the others cheered, "honestly paul! you're thinking about the dude all the time- your worse than seth and harry's godson teddy!" the others nodded in agreement, after seth imprinted on teddy the young wolf had turned into a love sick puppy, mooning over his 'perfect imprint' and teddy was no better.

"i'm straight jake." was the instant reply and sam snorted.

later that night paul was thinking about harry. again. he thought about those forest green eyes that he could get lost in for hours, that small smile that was permanently etched on those full strawberry red lips that begged to be kissed... those hips, legs!

paul jolted as he felt himself harden, "i'm gay for harry!" he yelped and in the distance, the rest of his pack cheered at him finally realising the obvious.

RULE 16: _If greeted by an older man; harry either becomes their pseudo-son or they'll be berating themselves for wanting such a younger man... it get's very hard for them in all ways._

gibbs looked at the young teen asleep on his lap. he was a witness to a murder, but taking one look at his _family_ , gibbs had pulled some strings to get harry away from them long enough that he could try and help the teen.

harry was charming, he was polite and very sweet immediately warming up to an excited abby and, surprisingly, having ziva turn into a hissing dragon, protecting her treasure. not that the green eyed teen noticed this; he spent most of his time with ducky, bonding over scotland and a prestigious boarding school that they both went to.

yeah, the team had pretty much adopted the 14 year old and gibbs was placed the the father role again, something he didn't mind, and actually liked. harry had been standoffish at first, but after a few weeks, a major meltdown and a heart to heart, harry let himself be taken care of and right now he'd fallen asleep with his head on gibbs' lap, after meeting jethro's father for the first time (another person voluntary becoming harry's guard dog).

harry shifted, curling up like a cat in his sleep before stilling again and gibbs couldn't help but smile 'yeah, being a dad again ain't to bad'

 _OR..._

he wasn't looking at harry, he really wasn't. honest! jim's cousin had arrived a few weeks ago and fell so easily into place, that no one could imagine life before him. harry had a heart made absolute gold and became mother hen to pretty much everyone he met, including people like fish and carmine.

harry was currently dancing around jim's kitchen, as he cooked enough food to feed a small army; he had practically invited the entire precinct to jim's for thanksgiving dinner "it's the first one i've ever had, and i'd like it if you'd enjoy it with me." was the timid reason and the cops practically jumped on top of him to accept.

harvey had been roped in by harry, (see fold like paper as soon as he opened his mouth), to help him in the kitchen and invite 'miss fish' and butch around, if they had the time. right now he was trying to focus on mashing potatoes as harry was bent over, inspecting the turkey and other meat he'd squeezed in the oven. "i hope it's enough- i really don't want anyone to miss out." he bit his lip and harvey cursed any deity listening.

"i'm sure it'll be fine harry." harvey said and emerald eyes beamed up at him. harvey bit the inside of his cheek as harry hugged him, and he was assaulted by his flowery scent. harvey noticed jim, who was currently smirking at him "i think jim wants to help harry." he looked over at jim, who shrugged innocently and was quickly dragged over to make the gravy by an excitable harry.

'i'm going to hell for him.' harvey thought as harry's perky butt caught his attention once again. and the honest truth- harvey couldn't care less.

RULE 17: _A happy harry can make you feel on top of the world, a sad harry will make everything feel horrible but an angry harry? run. run as fast you can and try to hide because he will hunt you down and._ _end. you._

all in all it was a good day for justin, he had a good day in lessons, had fun with his friends and wasn't given any homework for the week end! all in all it was an amazing end to an exhausting week. justin sat in the gryffindor common room with his girlfriend, ginny weasley, happily sitting in his lap as they talked to friends around the fire. he was about to kiss her when he saw _him._

he was sitting in a quiet corner, gazing at them with pure longing and heart wrenching sadness, his two friends had noticed this and spared him a poisoned glance before trying to distract their forlorn friend, who just smiled weakly at them and quickly ran out of the room, tears beginning to fill his emerald eyes. hermione and ron glared fully at justin before they slowly packed up and made their to follow the heart broken harry potter.

harry had been kidnapped by voldemort at the end of fourth year, having dated ginny for most of it. ginny was distraught at first, but after a year and no word, she thought him dead and slowly grieved and moved on to justin, the pair were happy together and in their sixth year, harry had came back, worse for wear after defeating voldemort and had gone to profess his love to ginny, only to see her in the arms of justin, who shuffled uncomfortably at the situation.

harry had every right to be mad, but instead he congratulated the pair and left them well alone; but justin could always spot him looking so utterly broken at ginny and looking at his wand with sad eyes before leaving them; but his despair still lingered and justin found himself wondering if his happiness with ginny was worth it if harry was so _broken_ by it.

...

harry didn't smile much, he really didn't show much emotion on his face; he held it all in his eyes, the way they glittered in wonder or shone in excitement. but when harry smiled... it was if the angels would fall willingly to hell and demons repent to see harry smile again.

it was christmas in fifth year and the weasley's were toasting harry for saving arthur's life, when tonks, in all her left footed glory tripped over the air and the pie that was in her steady hands, flew in the air and landed with a healthy squelch on remus' face. the kitchen stood still in shocked silence as remus took the pie off his face and placed it on the table.

"i was looking forward to that pie remus." harry pouted playfully and wiped some off the werewolf's cheek and liked off his finger "strawberry; my favourite too, but you had to pig it all." then harry's face spilt into that breath taking smile and everyone felt as if things weren't so dark any more.

the rest of the night the people of grimrauld place drank, ate, laughed and were merry. none of them noticed harry slip away, but one thing was for certain, he was still smiling.

...

harry's anger wasn't hot or fiery as most gryffindors, his was glacial and dripping with poison that slowly chocked the life out of it's victim's body, metaphorically speaking, but when harry was angry at you, you felt it. ron had felt harry's anger only once and safe to say he never wanted that to happen again.

he let his jealousy get the better of him when harry's name came out of the cup and sad some horrible things to harry in the common that left a lot of people gawping in shock. harry never reacted to it, well not in the way the others expected anyway. instead of the brawl that they were sure was to ensue, harry just gave him that closed eyed smile that spelled out his doom.

he grew completely cold and distant to ron, completely cutting him out of his life, which soon led to the rest of the house and some other students acting the the same way to the red head. it was horrible for ron, seeing harry laugh and joke with others, only to turn into a glaring statute when ever he came near was unnerving and then when his _father_ sent him a strongly worded howler, ron decided to swallow his pride and grovel to his friend for forgiveness.

harry had then pulled him into a hug and called him a 'prideful idiot' and everything went back to normal, but ron never forgot harry's quiet rage and now as he sat in umbridge's class room and that horrid smile plastered itself on that pale face; ron thanked magic herself that it wasn't aimed at him.

RULE 18: _Harry is far too adorable for his own good and can make anybody fall in love with him without realising._


End file.
